The Answer (To an Adopted Child)

Not flesh of my flesh
   Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously
   My own.
Never forget
   For a single minute:
You didn't grow under my heart
   But in it.
     —Fleur Conkling Heyliger

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring.
I want to know that
I have been to the extreme.
So knock me off my feet,
Come on now give it to me.
Anything to make me feel alive.

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed.
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please...
     —Avril Lavigne, "Anything But Ordinary"

The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first.
  —Thomas Jefferson

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking, if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
  —Voltaire

I know of nobody who is purely autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin.
  —Jerry Newport

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
  — Ronald Reagan

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
  —William Shakespeare, Hamlet

At a Veteran's Day ceremony in November 1985 at Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, then-President Ronald Reagan offered these words of praise and inspiration:

It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of our country in wars far away. The imagination plays a trick. We see these soldiers in our minds as old and wise. We see them as something like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them were boys when they died. They gave up two lives — the one they were living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. They gave up their chance to be revered old men. They gave up everything for their country, for us. All we can do is remember.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.
  —A. A. Milne

Think of how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half the world is stupider than that.
  —George Carlin

The philosophy that the government knows best how to raise children is really becoming a worldwide phenomenon.
  —Michael Farris.

"What does 'Great Kaja' mean?"
"It means Mesa is history. They just don't know it yet."
  —Crown of Slaves, David Weber and Eric Flint

When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire...
  —Unknown

Writing about yourself is addictive. I hope all you kids notice that. If you feel like autobiography, try heroin. Lots safer and easier to control...
  —Melpomeme Murray (from Orbital Resonance by John Barnes)

We do not have to defend the Prophet Joseph Smith. The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ will defend him for us.
  —President Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, May 2005, 9

Without recognizing the ordinances of Heaven, it is impossible to be a superior man.
  —Confucius

Outwitted
He drew a circle that shut me out.
A heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout,
But Love and I had the wit to win—
We drew a circle that took him in.
  —Edwin Markham

Mommy, make the nasty penguin go away.
  —Jim Allchin, MS head of OS development, regarding open source software (paraphrased).

Free software, not just Linux, is a major problem for Microsoft. It's a big mistake thinking they don't understand free software, or its mechanics. They understand it all too well, and they don't like it - not one little bit!
  —Edward Macnaghten

Corporations have neither bodies to kick, nor souls to damn.
  —Andrew Jackson

"Harry Potter, do you know what unicorn blood is used for?"

"No," said Harry, startled by the odd question. "We've only used the horn and tail-hair in Potions."

"That is because it is a monstrous thing to slay a unicorn," said Firenze. "Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenseless to save yourself, and you will have but a half life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips."

  —Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone

Making the decision to have a child — it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
  —Elizabeth Stone

The New York Times annually sums up this resistance to reality when it runs a story wondering with violent crime at an all-time low why so many people are in prison"
  —John Ashcroft

Children are the brightest treasures we bring forth into this world, but too large a percentage of the population continues to treat them as inconveniences and nuisances, when they're not treating them as possessions or toys.
  —Charles de Lint

A good quote, from the movie Shall We Dance:

Why is it that people get married?

Because we need a witness to our lives.
There's a billion people on the planet.
What does any one life really mean?

But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything:
The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things,
All of it, all the time, every day.

You're saying "Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.
Your life will not go unwitnessed - because I will be your witness."

"Daddy, Daddy! Will you help me?"
"If I can."
"I want a map of February."
(from Arthur Hailey, Airport)

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. —The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

We don't void people's right to tilt at windmills simply because we don't fancy their lance...

You can run, you can hide, never living inside
Keep living your life in the dark.
Sooner or later, that gentle persuader is
Gonna catch up with your heart.
Make you a dreamer, believer, believing in love.

Right when a man is doing all that he planned
and thinks he's got just what he needs.
Life will deliver a shout that will shiver him
Driving him down to his knees.
Make him start giving, living, living again.

Well it's your mind
That tricks you into leaving every time
Love will turn you around, turn you around.
Well it's your mind
That talks you into staying where you are
Love will turn you around, turn you around.
     —from Kenny Rogers, "Love Will Turn You Around"
        (from the "Six Pack" soundtrack)

I wonder when He comes again
Will all the nations bring
Their children to His waiting arms
To hear the Angels sing?

And as they heed His loving voice,
And seek His outstretched hands,
Will children of the world rejoice
To finally understand

That, only, as we do His will
Can happiness increase.
That love, alone, can make this world
A Haven of His Peace.
     — part of "When He Comes Again" by
        Mirla Greenwood Thayne 

I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live
To teach us how to give
To guide us in the light of love.
     —part of "Angels Among Us", sung by Alabama


"I once cheated on a metaphysics exam.  I looked deep into the soul of the
student beside me."
     —Woody Allen

Hugging, the miracle drug: [2] - The perfect cure for what ails you:
Non-polluting. Fully returnable. Healthy. Relieves tension. Combats
depression. Reduces stress. Improves blood circulation. Invigorating.
Rejuvenating. Elevates self-esteem. Generates goodwill. No side effects.
     —Eileen Perry via Dear Abby

"Consult the Book of Armaments!"
"Armaments, chapter twelve, verse 3 to 21: And Saint Attila
did raise the Holy Hand Grenade up on high, saying, O LORD,
bless this thine hand grenade, that with it we might blow
thine enemies to little pieces, in thy mercy.  And the
LORD did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and
sloths, and carp,and orang-utans, and breakfast cereals, and
large tusked..."
"Skip a bit, brother."
"And then the LORD did say, first shalt thou pull out the
holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shall be the number thoushalt count, and the number of
the counting shall be three. Thou shalt not count to four,
neither shalt thou count to two, excepting that thou then
procedest to three.  Five is right out.  Then, having
counted three, lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade at thine
enemies, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Amen."
"Amen."
     —Unknown

Taglines section: Who knows where these came from? This is a good part of my old Blue Wave tagline collection, from back when I was on FidoNet. Some of these are my creation, some aren't.
"What?!? This isn't an FTP site?!?"

My other computer is a Pentium II.

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .    

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory    

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic    

"I say we nuke the site from Orbit, it's the only way to be sure"

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!

Spaceballs: The Tagline

Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.

The OFFICIAL tagline of the 1996 Olympics!

Reality-ometer:  [\........]  Hmmph!  Thought so...

Go straight to the docs.  Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200!

Don't hit me, Mr. Moderator... I'll go back on topic... I swear!

"You keep saying that, I don't think it means what you think it means"

My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...

We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.

ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo ...

"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." - L. Long

Line noise provided by Southwestern Bell and/or AT&T and/or my Family!

Illiterate?  Write for FREE HELP!

DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.

New Mail not found.  Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)

Nice computers don't go down.

I dropped my computer on my foot!  That Megahurtz!

Famous Last Words #34:  "Watch me goose that sleeping dragon!"

Gotta run, the dog's caught in the printer.

Preserve Wildlife  --  Pickle a Moderator !

Dax went through the wormhole and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!

Crime wouldn't pay if it was operated by the government!

If voting changed anything, it would be made illegal.

"Hi Dad! I'm in Jail!"

Why can't I find the girl of my dreams when I'm awake?

Mary had a little lamb. That's what she gets for sleeping in the barn.

Please hold, a service representative will annoy you shortly.

One tagline to rule them all, & in the darkness bind them.

Your're right! TV is a lot better when it's plugged in!

ERROR: Computer Possessed;  Load EXOR.SYS? [Y/n]

I'm not crazy! I'm reality-challenged!

She's not only cute, she's a sweetheart!

2+2=5 when dealing with enhanced groups of 4.

Winter in Arizona falls on a Tuesday this year ...

Help! My keyboard is stuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Look Ma, No Taglines!

Is there a Roman numeral for zero?

"... I used to be sane, but I got better."

Don't recall us...we'll recall you....

I used to read books...before offline readers came along...

Hey! I hear there's a 'MODERATOR' coming soon.

Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.

is OS/2 only half an operating system?

But I thought YOU did the backups...

C code.  C code run. Run code, run.

Seattle Rain Festival - Jan. 1 to Dec. 31

Beep! Invalid Input.  I take only cash....

The UART's won't take this speed, Captain

That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues!

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!

Happiness is your favorite program moving to Windows 95

So Many Messages!.............So Little Time!

ASCII and ye shall receive.

Choosy modemers choose PNG

How do you know it's summer in Seattle? The rain's warmer

We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.

My computer NEVER loc

When all else fails, read the docs.

What we have here is a failure to communicate...

SYSTEM ERROR:  press F13 to continue...

My Twit Filter just put me on its Twit List!

Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.

I've had BETA days ... and nights!!!

Luxuriantly hand-crafted of only the finest HTML.

The universe is laughing behind your back.

I like to leave messages *before* the beep.

I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.

What can you do at 3 AM?   Psssttt - got a modem??

Gentlemen:  Start your debuggers...

No wanna work.  Wanna bang on keyboard.

I believe in The Divine Right of SysOps.

Watch it - You're trying my infinite patience!

I've got 640K of RAM, so why can't I run Windows 95?

I can't use Windows.  My cat ate my mouse.

I used to have a life, then I got a 56K!

OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.

Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.

Sysoping: Not just an adventure, it's a job..

Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tagline

Coming to a TV soon, "Days of Our Modems"

"Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline." Dr. McCoy

Silly wabbit, QWKs are for kids.

Excuse me, can you spare a tagline?

"I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates

A clean, neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.

While (!cat) play (mouse);

Taglines...one line freedom of speech!

grep..grep..grep... (Frog w/UNIX stuck in throat)

I'm happiest when someone else is doing the cooking.

Now on CD ROM, classic taglines of the computer era.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.

And then Adam said, "What's a headache?"

For once I'm at a loss for words.  Mark down the date!

Ultimate office automation:  networked coffee machines.

Excuse me, I have to recharge my flamethrower.

Cereal Killer Strikes Again! Cap'n Crunch found dead...

I tried OS/2 once, but I didn't inhale.

Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change

My other home is a Cardassian Space Station ...

"Where "Life" is a four letter word" - system@freds.cojones.com

"Being 3/4 Insane is a matter of deGree" - Curtis Jewell

My OTHER computer is a VAX11/780 hooked up as a terminal to a Pentium II!

Answers: $100, Short: $500, Correct: $2500... I can't stop inflation!

I haven't lost my mind... My backups may be a little scrambled...

How many bars of gold-pressed latinum would you like today???

"Programming in COBOL should be a death pentlty offense" - Djkstra

Friends don't let friends live in Umiak, AK.

Friends don't let friends live in Poplar Bluff, MO.

I program in Modula-3. Do YOU?

Ketchikan Rain Festival - Jan. 1 to Dec. 31

Quantum Leap Virus: One day your PC is a laptop, next it's a Nintendo.

Extra Credit:  Define the universe and give three examples.

Summer in Alaska falls on a Saturday this year ...

perl..perl..perl... (Frog w/web server stuck in throat)

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